Finding love online

LONG BEACH -- Eight years ago, Marcy Johnson Fox hesitated whenpeople asked how she met her husband, John Fox.

"I used to be like, 'Well, we met on Match.com,' " the Long Beachspeech pathologist said in a whispered tone.

"Now, it's like, 'Oh, we met on Match.com,' " she said in amatter-of-fact voice. "The stigma is kind of gone. I'll talk topeople who met their current boyfriends there. They'll ask, 'You meton which site?' "

Once seen as an unorthodox way of meeting potential mates, onlinedating sites have become a growing, more mainstream route to findinglove.

Dating sites -- both free and with paywalls -- vary from broaderbrowsing on Match.com, eHarmony and plentyoffish.com to sites thatcast more specific nets such as jdate.com, christiansingles.com andwww.gaydating.com.

In 2009 and 2010, Match.com asked research firm Chadwick MartinBailey to conduct surveys on America's dating habits.

Of the 7,000 husbands and wives surveyed, the firm found that 1in 6, or 17 percent of couples married in the last three years meton an online dating site. Also one out of five single people havedated or met their significant other via online dating, according tothe Chadwick survey.

It's also become a lucrative industry. Generating $957million in2008, online dating is the third largest revenue producer among paid-content Web sites, according to Forrester Research, which predictsthat that figure will grow 10 percent by 2013.

And earlier this month, online dating site Match.com acquiredOkCupid and its 3.5million users for $50 million. Match.com, a pay-to-use site, pairs people up from over 5.8 million users.

The stigma of online dating has faded as technology and the wayspeople communicate change, said Ebony Utley, assistant professor ofcommunication studies at Cal State Long Beach.

"As we become increasingly more comfortable with technology, itseems to make sense that that technology would provide assistance toour dating lives," Utley said. "Also, the busier we've become, themore convenient it is to view online dating as a way to meet newpeople you wouldn't meet otherwise."

When she was in the Air Force, Long Beach resident Leah Leeserfound online dating helpful for getting to know a new area.

"It worked out for me; I found a lot of cool places and met a lotof really neat people," said Leeser, a Cal State Long Beach studentstudying to be an English teacher.

Three years ago, Leeser met Sean McCauley, head of a local highschool English department, on plentyoffish.com.

"When I saw his profile, I liked how well-articulated the writingwas. The grammar was nice. I mean, I am an English major," she said."And it wasn't the typical, ' oh, I like romantic walks on thebeach' type of deal, which there's a lot of. You have to siftthrough 200 people to find one person that's worth your time ofday."

After a month and a half of e-mailing, the two finally met inperson with a group of her friends at the beach, then at a party aweek later.

"She was about what I expected," McCauley said of Leeser. "Whenyou're online dating, you don't have too much to worry about as faras character if you're really corresponding, if you're reallytalking to someone else. I knew what she was like. ... There's noicebreaker 45-minute period when you online date."

The couple, who now live together in Long Beach, say they wouldnot have met any other way.

"It's not easy to meet someone who enjoys Chaucer," McCauleysaid. "You have to search that out and the Internet is the obviousplace to go. The bar is not. Neither is the library, ironically.Although you might find someone who reads, what are the chances thatshe likes video games or punk rock music? So I need a girl whoenjoys Shakespeare and punk rock music. How am I going to findthat?"

For Marcy and John Fox, a self-described "shy and introverted"couple, online dating was less awkward and more convenient.

"I like the idea of being able to gather all this information andthen meet the person," Marcy Fox said. "It kind of takes a lot ofthe questions out of it. It cuts to the chase. These are the thingsI'm looking for. This is what I like and what I don't like. And it'salready there for you."

"I've never been into the bar scene," said John Fox, an equipmentoperator for the Los Angeles Department of Water and Power. "I'vealways been a little bit shy, just like her. It allows you to befreer with what you say and be a little wittier. In person, you'renervous and stumbling over what to say. In front of the computerscreen, you can be a lot more charming and let your personality comeout a little bit more."

The Foxes, who married in 2005, have a 3-year-old daughter,Rachel, and are expecting their second child, another girl, inApril.

"You can find compatibility online and that's how eHarmony inparticular markets it with their 29 Dimensions of Compatibility orwhatever," Utley said. "So you can find someone that you'recompatible with, but love is a choice and is something that'sdeveloped over time when you build a relationship. Online sitesdon't help us to find love. It might help us find someone to buildlove with."

karen.robes@presstelegram.com, 562-499-1303